Trinity
by Vaako
Summary: Harry, Ron and Hermione are sent to the Shinobi continent by a spell gone wrong. Unfortunately the spell also causes Ron and Harry to become girls and Hermione a boy! LeexHarry, JiraiyaxRon, Hermionex? Slash HIATUS
1. The Trio Arrives

Trinity

This was so ironic. Voldemort had killed so many of Harry's friends and acquaintances, Harry killed him... and here Harry, Ron and Hermione were getting their arse handed to them by some die-hard Death Eaters.

Things were looking pretty bad - well they weren't just looking bad, they were getting bad. Here Harry had his back against Ron's, Hermione lay still at their feet but they couldn't help her until they'd dealt with this.

The bad thing about these battles was that they weren't duels, and when you have three or more spells hitting at the same time, they can mix together, form previously and never again experienced spells.

This is how, when under a volley of screamed, shouted and silently cast curses, the trio found themselves wrapped in a glowing aura.

This aura heralded a spell of ridiculous power and magnitude - Harry and Ron experienced the faint sense of travelling, before they fell as unconscious as Hermione.

When they woke, they found that this powerful spell had not just knocked them out and sent them to what was likely another world... it had switched their genders too! And so it was that the trio found themselves waking on the shinobi continent!

"Wow, Ron, you're a total babe!" Harry announced and all turned they scrutiny to Ron.

Still tall, the red-head was now very tall for a woman, and very, _very_ busty. Just like his mother. His face now resembled Ginny's more, with a smaller chin and nose. He was not pretty or beautiful, not in the traditional way. But he was handsome and attractive. His hair was still short and that unfortunate shade of Weasley-red. His eyes the same size and Harry and Hermione could see he was still the same old Ron. Freckly as he ever was.

"Bloody hell!" cried Ron, grasping his breasts in his hands, "these are huge! And heavy!"

"Ron, do you mind! Don't squeeze them!" protested Hermione, shaking a bossy finger. Harry and Ron turned to her, and shared dismay at her deeper voice and lack of boobies.

Hermione's height, like Ron's had not changed, which left her as the shortest again, and she still had big bushy hair. Her face though, remained very pretty and girlish. She was clearly male now and her clothes hung off her slimmed hips and chest, and were tight about her shoulders and arms. She was a beautiful androgynous boy and she wasn't pleased about it.

"I don't like this. I haven't heard of anything like this before." She complained, checking her wand (magic wand) over.

"Here, look at Harry! Ha ha ha!" Ron laughed, pointing at the other boy, "He's got tiny tits, Ha ha ha! Like you used to have, Hermione! Bet your jealous?"

Harry patted at his small chest aghast, "I do not approve," he told them unhappily. "I would have liked them a little bigger than Hermione's used to be..."

"Well," started Hermione, getting bitchy, "If we don't find Ron a bra soon his tits will be hanging round his ankles in days!"

Ron gasped, "They never! They... _never?"_

Hermione ignored him and looked Harry over. Harry was a little taller than her, skinny, with golden skin and large green eyes. His glasses were cracked and she fixed them for him. She sighed, "You have such soft skin, blast you." It sickened her to see those looks wasted on a boy, _"Blast you."_ she told him with more vehemence.

Harry combed through his short scruffy hair and adjusted his glasses until they were crooked, "Hermione... you do an 'alf look weird wearing that skirt now..."

Ron roared with laughter at Hermione's now knobbly man-boy knees. To make matters worse for himself, during his second wave of _even louder_ laughter Ron bent over and pointed at them.

Hermione stood still throughout this onslaught of incivility, "Can't wait to see the look on your face when you realise your prick is gone, oh, - _there_ _it is."_

Ron and Harry were grabbing at their privates vulgarly, "Merlin's balls - my - my-"

"Your balls?" Hermione asked.

"My balls!" agreed Ron.

"Hermione, can't wait to see the look on your face when-"

"Yes, I have a penis." Hermione blushed, "I realised immediately."

Ron narrowed his eyes and eyed her skirt, "And how was it that you-"

"Harry I think it would be best if we switched clothes. The natives might attack me. Or even you two."

Harry reluctantly agreed, "Yeah all right..."

"Okay...! First thing is to find me a bra, guys. Just until we're back in our old bodies..." Ron's ears were red and he was still holding his breasts up, nervously, "I can feel them stretching out." he told them, sharing a meaningful look with Hermione.

Once Hermione and Harry had switched clothes, and ...underwear ... they headed towards civilisation. Civilisation turned out to be a small village of Asians-looking people. Except some had weird hair colour and Harry spotted one leaping over a roof. It was a sprawling almost third-world mess. But at least they appeared to be speaking the same language, just with different accents.

Hermione tried to approach an older man, "Excuse could you help us, you see-"

"Fuck off!" the man shrieked, throwing his arms up and hobbling away.

Hermione's mouth hung open for a second, "Well, that wasn't so different from our world. We could be wandering in Knockturn-Alley for all we know."

"I'll try," Said Ron, trying to keep his breasts covered, "This is humiliating!" He approached a drunken man, hoping to get a better reaction, "Excuse me sir," he asked, "could you lend us a helping hand?"

The man spun on them quickly, long white spiky hair flying about him wildly, a stupid expression on his tattooed face. "Ahoyyyu!" cried the man, blushing heavily, reaching towards Ron's breasts and giving them a squeeze. The man was obviously more drunk and perverted than Ron could have ever imagined! And Ron had never been molested - so blatantly! He shrieked and a protective Hermione was in front of him, slapping the white-haired man and pushing him over.

A onslaught of women appeared out of nowhere, stomping on the white-haired man and the trio backed away.

"I don't like this place," said Ron, arms crossed over his chest, "I want to go home, Hermione..."

Harry was also covering his chest, "Men are pigs!"

Hermione shook her head sadly and patted Ron on the shoulder, "I'll protect you. I have experience. I'll ask again, excuse me sir!" she called out to a man passing by. To their luck he stopped.

The man approached them and looked shifty, "You need money?"

The trio were perplexed. "Y-yes..?" Harry replied.

"Can you sing?"

They were a little weirded out and none could sing in their regular bodies let alone a transformed one, but they had a go. Hermione's voice was creaky from trying to speak in a higher voice, and she blushed, Ron's voice was deep and rather pleasantly husky - but he couldn't carry a tune. Harry had a secret... sometimes when he was alone at the Dursley's... he'd sing in a high voice... so he had a little practice singing as a girl. When he sang, his voice was high and clear. His friends looked at him in disbelief.

Harry didn't have a wide repertoire and only knew songs his aunt Petunia played on repeat while Vernon was out, "Er ah... out on the wily, windy moors we'd roll and fall in green, you had a temper-"

The man liked his voice and gave them a handful of money. They stare at it, bemused. "What kind of money is this?" asks Ron, holding it up to the light.

Hermione thought aloud and betrayed a mistrustful mindset, "This better be real money or I am going after that man..."

Ron scowled after the man as well, "He had more on him, he held back on us."

"It was kind of him to give us anything," Harry sighed, crouching. "And we're gonna get scammed a lot, mate."

"Not if I can help it," replied Hermione, "Listen, Harry... you're voice is _quite_ good. We could make a little money from it. Sing on the corner for a little while, will you? Then we might be able to afford a place to stay the night and some food. Ron, you watch him. I'm going to go gather information."

The two boys watched her go. Harry looked up at Ron hopefully. Ron cuffed him lightly, "Get singing, mate!"

"Look, Ron, this is embarrassing. I can't sing. I don't like attention. What if someone we know sees me?"

"Well Harry, we all have to do things we don't like sometimes..."

Harry went to stand glumly on the corner, feeling sick. It wasn't the best performance of 'Wuthering Heights' but no one had heard the song before and that got him a little money.

Ron leant against the wall and watched the 'punters'. It didn't take long for someone to approach him. They hung around for a while chatting about this happening and that and was 'she' in town long? And Ron answered politely, though he was feeling his manly pride shrivelling up. He was gathering information, he thought, when he noticed the man's purse just dangling there.

Ron was hungry. They were standing beside a little food stall, and Ron was _really _hungry.

It was quite possible Ron would be able to get a free meal out of this guy; he looked pretty desperate. But Ron couldn't even stomach that _idea_... but then_ another_ idea occurred to him and while the man watched Harry, thinking of something else to say, Ron lifted the man's purse. He'd almost succeeded when the man turned too soon, Ron panicked and covered his sneaky action by grabbing the man's arm and asking, "So what do you think of Harry - that's my friend! 'She's' pretty good, isn't 'she'?"

The man was bemused and distracted by Ron's assets. But Ron gave him no more attention and gradually put up a cold front until the man left, dejected and light-pocketed.

When Hermione returned she looked troubled, "Let's get out of here now. Harry, stop singing. We're leaving."

Harry was all to glad to be going. His throat hurt. "Look, five coins! Wonder what they're worth!" He showed them proudly and both Hermione and Ron looked away. Harry became suspicious, "What's going on?"

"Hurry up!" said Hermione.

"Yeah!" said Ron.

They walked, then jogged, then ran for the tree-line. Once in the forest, they got even faster. Harry was the best at running so he called back to them, "What's going on? Did you see something? Was it bad?"

Hermione was the first to speak up, "No one wanted to talk to me! They don't like foreigners! I... I had to rob a girl! As I was leaving, she noticed her purse was missing! I had to run back to you!"

Ron laughed, "I pick-pocketed a guy who was chatting me up!" And he waved the clinking purse.

The three laughed hysterically as they ran clumsily through the trees. Tripping on roots and getting hit in the face by branches, they imagined they were being chased. But they weren't.

They had to camp on empty stomachs. Ron's stomach was the loudest of all. They sat around there campfire and reflected on all that had happened.

"I don't like wearing skirts, and I didn't enjoy singing today." Harry grumped, rolling the five meagre coins in his hand, "I really didn't enjoy singing."

"Yes you did," Ron told him, waving a dismissing hand and digging an elbow into his friends ribs. "You loved it, you little attention-monkey!"

Harry giggled, his ribs were ticklish, and "I didn't, Ron!"

"Yes you did!" said Ron, falling into doting big brother mode suddenly, "_Yes you did!"_

"_Hee hee hee!"_laughed Harry, turning pink.

"Oh that's just about enough of that, you perverts." Hermione stared at them with wide unforgiving eyes.

"What? Hermione?"

"Don't give me those innocent looks, you _perverts!_ Suddenly so touchy-feely and giggly, don't think I don't know what brought this on! I am _not_ sitting here while you two discover your new lesbian tendencies." They looked at her blankly, "Your womanly bodies aren't falling me - I used to be a woman! You're still men in there. Perverted men! PERVERTED!"

Ron was affronted, "I think the pervert here is you! You're the big fat pervert seeing lesbians everywhere!"

"Yeah!" agreed Harry, nodding furiously. "Also Ron is Ron and that would be pretty gross."

"Yea- Hey... Thanks a _lot_ Harry!"

"You're welcome."

They all glared at each other as the night grew darker and colder. They soon got over their little stress-induced squabble and huddled close.

Hermione frowned, "What if those people we robbed... are going to be in trouble, now? What if their families are going hungry?"

They fell silent.

"We can't think like that, Hermione." Harry told her, "We have to survive, so that we can go back home. They need us."

Ron and Hermione nodded.

When the campfire went out, they scraped earth over it and slept on the cooling embers, shivering in the night.

TBC...


	2. Harry and Lee

Trinity

Harry

_When the campfire went out, they scraped earth over it and slept on the cooling embers, shivering in the night._

Since the first night, they'd come up with the scheme that one of them would distract, one steal and the other would be the eyes and ears. And muscle.

Unfortunately only Harry had a talent that would distract a number of people long enough to be robbed. Hermione was not strong enough to be the muscle, but she was small and above suspicion - good qualities for a thief. Ron was stuck being the muscle.

They'd managed to find new clothes for them all and a bra for Ron - whereas Harry felt Hermione's fit quite well. They now blended in quite well, despite generally being taller than everyone else, having a different facial-structure and strange accents. Most people just assumed they were thieving gypsies.

They weren't far wrong.

...Harry wasn't too happy about having to sing, despite how Ron joked. He felt sick with all those eyes turned to him. He found himself searching the face turned to him, looking for a familiar face, looking for red eyes or a silver mask...

Every other day, they'd camp outside of a town and rob just a few enough people to feed, clothe and house themselves, not taking enough to be conspicuous. At least, Harry hoped not.

It was during one of these 'heists' of theirs that things went very wrong for the trio - especially Harry. He'd been singing one of the few songs he knew well enough, filling in blanks, and it was going alright. He could see a couple of teenage girls watching him. Hermione moving up behind them, winked at Harry.

Harry smiled at her and turned to look elsewhere. Ron was leaning against a wall in the shadows, hands in his pockets. He wasn't watching Harry; he was watching someone else, so intently, his face twisting in warning, head turning to Harry. Harry stopped singing and looked.

For an instant, he saw something odd - a flash of colour and sharp teeth. He tried to draw his wand, but has time only to let out an embarrassingly shrill scream, and then everyone is screaming as a masked man snatched him up and leapt away with him!

"Harry!" he could hear Ron and Hermione shouting after him.

"Help me!" he managed to shout back, "Help me!" He'd dropped his wand. They'd better pick it up!

It was a ninja, a ninja had kidnapped her - or arrested her - did someone see what they'd been up to and want their money back? They were in the trees now, and Harry screamed again, seeing how high up in the trees this man was travelling - normally he had no trouble with heights, but when a stranger was carrying him-

Harry screamed, drawing it out louder and louder until the man shook him roughly to stop him.

Now that he was silent, the ninja began talking. And what he said disturbed Harry more than his actions, "Finally found me a little wifey! Yes the boys are gonna love this, but I get first dibs oh yes I do, don't I wifey?" he turned his head on a long neck and smiled a set of too many and too sharp teeth at Harry.

"No!" shouted Harry, "No! NO! NOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" His shouts became screaming again and his screams continued on and on. Maybe a little magic entered them, because they echoed back, over and over, and Harry didn't stop. His friends had to find him somehow, they would find him...

He began beating at the ninja's back, trying to will wandless magic, something he was almost too terrified to do so high up. Hermione would have known exactly what to do if their situation was reversed!

So he continued to scream, eyes squeezed shut, trying will some hero to him.

The ninja slapped Harry's rump and roared with perverse laughter, "I hope you scream like that in bed, my pretty!"

Harry drove his knee into the man's chest as hard as he could, "Let me go! LET ME GO! LETMEGOLETMEGOLETMEGOOOOO!"

And then, quite suddenly, the man dropped him and Harry was falling through the trees - missing every branch even as he made a wild grab. He pulled his arms in quickly over his head, and covered his face with his hands, waiting for the final impact, or, more likely; a magical intervention.

He got neither. Instead Harry was swept into a pair of strong arms; like iron wrapped around him. Harry shirked again and tired to wriggle away, but the man holding him spoke up quickly, "It's alright, you're safe now! We heard your youthful cries and came to the rescue!"

What cinched it was the woman, "We're good guys, sweetheart."

That sounded believable to him, "Oh, thank god." Harry looked up at the man holding him and saw a tall, odd looking, bushy-browed, round-eyed man standing there. But he could read no ill-intent and felt relieved. So relieved that he threw himself into the strange-looking mans arms and sobbed his pretty green eyes out.

The poor bushy-browed man tried to comfort Harry as much as he could, but eventually the woman had to rescue him. When Harry had calmed down, he introduced himself, "Thank you for saving me..." where were Ron and Hermione? "My name is Harry. I was travelling with friends when I was kidnapped... What are the names of my rescuers?"

They were seated about a campfire, three ninja's and an awkward Harry. The woman held up a hand before the bushy-browed man could speak, "I'm Tenten," she told Harry. Then she gestured to a sullen, pale eyed man with long dark hair, "This is Neji, and this bushy-browed freak is Lee."

Lee looked constipated and went to speak, but Tenten shushed him again, "You'll scare her away."

Harry wanted to interrupt and tell them that he was in fact a boy in a girl's body, but for some reason he didn't want to embarrass Lee. Surely it wouldn't be so awful for these ninja who he'd never meet again to think he was a girl?

Harry rubbed at his chest; his heart ached.

"So what do you do, Harry-chan?" asked Tenten. Harry never understood the suffixes they used here.

"Oh, I'm... a travelling singer. I travel with my two friends, Ron and Hermione. They are probably worried sick about me..."

"We'll help you find them!" Lee told him, standing and looking very dynamic.

Harry honestly couldn't help himself as he dragged his eyes very slowly up the other mans toned, athletic body. A flush crept up his neck and bled into his face. This Lee was very impressive. Harry's eyes wanted to dart to the man's crotch out of curiosity, but Harry forced himself to look elsewhere.

He found himself staring into a pair of knowing, incredulous eyes. Neji knew. Neji _saw him!_ Saw him check out his friend... Harry groaned...

Tenten sent her a curious look, "I agree. We'll help you find your friends! These area's are dangerous - aren't they Neji?"

Neji grunted.

"We'll get her to her friends safely, won't we Neji?"

Neji said nothing and made no noise.

Tenten stood over him and her expression must have said 'no sex' or something because the man said, "...yes..."

Tenten's face was so pleased when she turned to Harry that Harry had to smile back. These people were funny.

"We usually travel with our teacher Gai-sensei, but he wanted us to do this one on his own because his wife will be giving birth soon and-"

Harry nodded half heartedly as Tenten shattered away. His full attention was on watching Lee, who was stretching.

"Yosh! Yosh!" said the man, mouth open in an 'o', eyebrows drawn, "YOSH!"

A hand waved in front of Harry's face and he was dismayed to find Tenten now sported that knowing, incredulous look... Why was it so hard for them to believe he found Lee attractive? The man was vibrant, strong, and heroic, so kind... and sweet... his hair looked soft... so did his skin...

That night, Harry insisted on sleeping close to Lee. Lee was horrified, suddenly recognising to his immense flattery and equal horror that Harry had a crush on him.

"Harry, Ahhh! It's so dreadful... if only we had found each other earlier in life! I have a one true love - my dearest tree blossom, Sakura! But you are in the prime of your youth; your beauty could equal that of even Sakura! You will find someone who will love you in return..." he trailed off.

Harry smiled at him tearfully, "I-I'll just sleep close to you tonight and I'll feel safe..." He knew he was laying it on thick. He also knew that Tenten was watching them avidly. Neji had buggered off a while ago.

"Lee, I don't think _Sakura_ would mind..." Tenten spoke up.

Lee caved, "But not too close..."

'Why would you ravish me if I got too close, you man-beast!' was what Harry kinda wanted to say, but he knew it wouldn't go down well with this brave, loyal, honest and honourable man...

"You're drooling..." Tenten sing-sang at harry as she passed to the fire.

Harry covered his cheeks and wondered at the whole thing. That he a boy had became a girl, that he then grew a crush on a funny looking but so adorable man... that he was such a bloody idiot! - Acting like a girl! The guy obviously didn't like him.

He waited until they were sleeping. Tenten sat by the fire, dozing slightly but aware. Harry with the power of a broken heart and shame managed a weak disillusionment spell and crept away from the camp, before apparating to where he'd last camped with Hermione and Ron.

They weren't there and he wandered the woods all night looking for them. He was so tired that he stumbled into their camp without realising. The three broke into cries of joy, hugging and laughing.

Later after Harry had napped and eaten, Ron became angry at the world, cursing ninja's despite Harry's rescuers. Hermione just laughed helplessly with relief, "We were so worried about you." she told Harry, hugging him again.

They returned to the village where is all took place, and were greeted with kindness and compassion. They were given free food and drink and they all felt guilty for robbing these people and vowed not to rob them again.

Hermione gave harry his wand, and the three friends placed helpful spells around the town to reward them for their kindness. After they arrive at the next town, they begin their system again, except it appeared it wasn't to be...

Harry was accosted again, when a thug flipped her skirt up. Harry kicked at him, but he just grabbed her foot and flipped her skirt again. Suddenly the area was clear of all but the trio and the thug's friends. It looked bad...

Someone had him by the arms now and he couldn't draw his wand. Hermione drew hers and pointed, but two set on her at once, punching her in the face. Harry could see blood on the mens fists, splattering on their clothes and he screamed. Ron also screamed, louder than Harry thought was humanly possible.

"Get off her!" Ron screamed, pushing his way him, "Leave her alone!" This move backfired as the men turned their violent interest to Ron.

Harry couldn't get to them; a skinny man was circling him quickly, occasionally stopping to flip his skirt up - positively innocent compared to how they were molesting Ron.

"RONNNN! NO!" Harry had tears streaming down his face.

Ron screamed into the mouth moving over his, even as another man stood behind him and held him back.

Hermione was out cold, face a mess of blood, nose broken. When the man circling him kicked his legs out from under him and pinned him to the ground, Harry thought the end had come, but once again, someone arrived to intervene just in time.

...In the form, of a short blonde man and pink-haired woman. As soon as he was let up, Harry ran to Hermione, Ron soon joined him, "Hermione? 'Mione!" They were crying, their little protector was down and not waking up. No spells could be cast in front of these people... Thinking of spells, Harry stood and looked for Hermione's wand, found it and tucked it into her clothing.

While Ron stayed with Hermione, Harry thanked the new trio of Ninja. The blonde man and pink-haired woman were very gracious, their face serious. This group had a pale silent one as well. Harry made sure to thank him too and he blinked at her strangely.

They were called Naruto, Sakura and Sai. They helped the friends get Hermione to a room, where Sakura healed her. Harry and the Ninja left Ron with Hermione, for privacy. He knew his friends liked each other and he didn't want to intrude when Hermione woke up.

Harry thanked the Ninja again and looked at them properly, once the shock had passed. (He was never letting his guard down again, also maybe he should start dressing as a boy again, and no more singing, it brought bad luck-) when he noticed their headband and recognised the symbol there to match Lee's team.

He smiled widely, "Leaf Ninja! What a coincident! The day before this, when a similar thing happened... I was rescued by a passing team of Leaf-Ninja!" harry knew he wasn't using the words right, but they didn't seem to mind, he was a 'civvie' after all. "You're good guys, right?"

They were all smiling at him, even the pale quiet one cracked a small one. "That we are! The best of the best!" agreed Naruto, puffing out his chest.

Sakura was interested, "Did you get their names?"

"Yes, Tenten, Neji and... and..." Harry's reaction was completely overwhelming. He turned his flaming face away, "Lee..."

"Whoa," said Naruto, "I've never seen Fuzzy-Brows get that kind of reaction before!"

"Are you okay?" asked Sakura, "I know Lee can be weird sometimes, but he didn't do anything _really_ weird, did he?"

Ron stepped out of Hermione's room laughing, "Hah, no. That's hero-worship right there."

Harry pinched Ron, hard, "Ron." He said, "For Merlin's sake...just let the world know why don't you! ...so embarrassing..."

The best way to describe the expressions of Sakura and Naruto would be 'gobsmacked'. Harry didn't like it. But Ron did, if the way he laughed all the way down the hall was any sign.

Hermione healed quickly thanks to Sakura and a spell. They couldn't set her nose though, it was permanently a little crooked. But it suited her pretty-boy face.

It soon turned out that they were heading the same way and Team Seven of the Leaf allowed the trio to tag along. When asked where they were going, they 'admitted' to being roaming gypsies; visiting village after village; playing their funky music...

Team Seven decide to bring them back to the Leaf with them, for entertainment purposes. It was the luck of Harry that on their way there they crossed paths with another returning team. Team Gai.

And Leeeee...

Harry isn't sure what to do under the intense scrutiny of his friends and acquaintances, and crush. How should he react? He decides to apologise. He approached Lee, "Lee... I just wanted to apologise for my earlier actions... I was suffering from a slight case of Hero-worship. I know how annoying that can be, and I'm sorry!" Harry ran back to his friends, red faced.

Ron and Hermione laughed at him.

Lee stared after her, uncharacteristically quiet. His thick brows were drawn down thoughtfully. Naruto and Tenten shared knowing looks, but Sakura is shocked.

She turned to Tenten, "How could _she_ have a crush on someone as weird looking as _Lee_?"

Unfortunately there had been a lull in the noise about them and everyone heard her. Lee hunched over a little, hurt by her words and Sakura covered her mouth. What she'd said had been unintentionally harsh. "Sorry!" she told him, "I didn't mean it!" but some kind of damage had been done and while he valiantly objected to her apologies, saying no harm was done... he didn't seem as vehement as he usually was.

And his eyes kept straying to Harry.

"Hey Harry, why don't you sing us something?" asked Tenten, trying to change the subject.

Harry blushed and glanced at Lee, "I wouldn't want to bring evil down upon you all. My singing has been quite unlucky recently..."

Hermione laughed bitterly, "Every time Harry's sung lately, someone has taken it upon themselves to either kidnap or attack us."

"Well you won't have to worry now," shouted Naruto, walking backwards in front of them, "We're here to protect you!"

Harry really didn't want to sing in front of Lee, he knew he'd just flub his words! "I really, _really_ don't think-"

Hermione sensed the plight of her friend, "Yes... it is a bit hot and we're walking. Also he-

"Of course," said Sakura, softly.

SHE's had a bit of a shock recently, related to singing..."

Ron sensed nothing, "Just sing a little will you?" he complained, rubbing at his lower back, "They did save you, repay 'em a little! Sing the one you sang in the first village or something."

"Yes. Thank you. _Ron._" said Harry and Hermione snorted. Forced, and nervous, Harry trilled his way through the song, flubbing his words only a little.

When he finished, everyone clapped and Lee is very enthusiastic. Harry blushes when Lee catches his eye.

"That was very beautiful, Harry-_chan_! You truly have such a youthful and unique voice!"

Harry is embarrassed, but pleased with Lee's sudden attention. The strange-looking man was actually quite confident when he turned his hand to wooing. This confidence only caused more attraction Harry.

Not much more happened on the way to the village, though they were thoroughly questioned and interviewed before they were let in. Ron got the worst of it and the clearly embarrassed guard searched her bosom for who-knows-what.

Poor Ron was becoming resigned, if not particularly pleased by the attention.

Once inside the fortified village and working, not stealing for money and food, Harry found himself being swept off of his happily-astonished feet by Lee. And the two were soon spotted about, on dates; caught engaging in public kissing and sooner than anyone would have guessed, Lee was proposing and Harry was accepting.

"Harry... you've only known him a month!" Hermione whisper-shrieked in Harry's ear, "What are you thinking?"

"Mate... does he even... know?" asked Ron.

"He knows everything, he was very understanding." Harry told them and Ron was cross that Harry hadn't consulted them first, before revealing their secrets to his boyfriend.

"There is no consulting, in love," Harry replied to Ron's arguments. "Also would you mind staying with Hermione tonight... I'm having Lee over."

"What! Why can't you go to his place?"

"Please Ron."

"...fine." but Ron couldn't go to Hermione's because she always had that weird violent lady hanging around, getting jealous. So instead, Ron decided to risk the bars for a night. Only... he bumps into Naruto, who is suffering from a cunning plan...

TBC

A/N:

I'll probably add more to Harry's story very soon, I don't feel happy with the abruptness to the ending D: and coming with that will probably a loving scene.

Thanks to candinaru25, Dark Neko 4000 Deviously Ruined Rose, and Fk306 animelover :D


	3. Ron and Jiraiya

Trinity

Ronald

"_...fine." but Ron couldn't go to Hermione's because she always had that weird violent lady hanging around, getting jealous. So instead, Ron decided to risk the bars for a night. Only... he bumps into Naruto, who is suffering from a cunning plan..._

When Naruto offered for Ron to go drinking with him, Ron agreed willingly, after all; it was best not to drink alone. Of course he didn't realise at first that Naruto was just perving on him.

It became apparent though, when they bumped into some of Naruto's friends and Naruto tried to escape first, before reluctantly introducing Ron to the others.

"Hey guys... who's this? Oh... this is Ron... She- hey. Where is she?"

Ron had managed to slip away, but not to get away from the group -no. He'd just noticed something, something terrible, something amusing; something _potentially very embarrassing for Harry..._ it was pay back.

He bent under the door flap of the Ramen House Naruto had insisted they visit and called out, "Shit, Naruto you gotta see this! I can totally see Harry and Lee going at it!"

Naruto was there, "_Fuzzy-brows?"_

And there quite clearly seen through the window is the entertainment.

"Wow Lee's really going for it."

"Bet you regret dumping him now, right Sakura?"

"We were never going out!"

They and several other laugh uproariously at the scene until Sakura and Ino forced them back inside. They sat at a table and calmed down. Once calmed down however things soon got excitable again as the size of Ron's enormous bosom became apparent.

It was true that Ron had a rather... startling figure, being very tall for a civilian, masculine in appearance and character... and, well, you know.

Ron let Naruto introduce him. He liked Naruto well enough, and Sakura, but he wasn't really interested in meeting new people. He was still caught up in his old life. It was true that he still held a flame of love for Hermione - but the girl had been hanging out with that crazy older woman with a bosom almost equal to his own. Damn her. Damn her it felt like he was being cheated on!

"Hey Big-Tits what's with the big tits?" asked a pale, bland-faced boy. He was kind of pretty in a bland sort of - whoa, whoa, what was with that psycho-smile? It was like the smile of the demented. The smile of say...someone under an imperious...

"I don't know, why don't you find out?" Yes please find out so that Ron could stop researching. Despite growing up in the wizarding world, Ron had no clue what had happened to them. Hopefully someone was working on it and they'd be home soon, in the meanwhile he had to play a girl which was horrible and-

And-

And er... "What are you _doing?_"

This kid was actually reaching across the table and was hovering his hands over Ron's chest, "I am going to find out."

"_Yeah?_" This guy was pushing it. What was his name again? Sai? "Go for it." _I dare you._

Then Sai grabbed a handful of each breast. He was gentle so it didn't hurt but still the BALLS on this kid must be huge.

"_What _do you think you are_ doing?"_

"I'm _finding out,_ Big-Tits." He groped for a second, while Ron sat in horror, an angry blush making his ears go red and crawling up his neck. Sai made a thoughtful noise, "Hmmm... these are... Hmm..." he moved his _nasty little thumb_ and it touched _something, _"I found a-"

"-No kidding, you little _fucker! Now get your nasty perverted little hands of my bloody tits!_"

With that the girl with the dark hair and pale and the reddest tomato face he'd ever seen launched up out of her chair, apparently in a rage. The ninja-boy holding Ron's breasts jumped away, but the girl was there first. She struck him in the face and lower, causing him to curl up a little and move to sit further away.

"What the fuck was that?" it was Ino, she'd returned with drinks.

The red-faced girl huffed. Ron leaned over and squeezed her arm, "Thanks love," and then he glared at those sitting round the table that'd done nothing to protect him. Even Naruto was looking busy, despite having pink cheeks. Ron could be naive sometimes, but he'd honestly thought Naruto would step in.

Ron found himself shooting everyone suspicious glances every night. In the middle of being suspicious, she would mention and re-mention having no where to stay that night. But they either ignored him or seriously didn't pick up on it. He decided to be blunt.

"Look I need somewhere to stay tonight, any of you gonna offer?"

"You can stay at mine!" Naruto grinned at her widely, looking foxy.

"No you really can't." said Sakura, "you really, really, _really_ can't."

Everyone looked at her, but she didn't offer an explanation. Ron frowned, "Er... _why?_"

"Because... his apartment is so messy... It really is disgusting so _you_ can't go in there." Sakura clearly had a case of the jealousies. Ron was willing to forgive - he was suffering for a case of that himself.

Damn Hermione! Damn her... bloody hell he was going to cry...

"You can stay at mine then, mum and sis won't mind!" it was the boy with the dog, Kiba. That was charming_, really. _Now that Ron was on the alert he could see this guy had one thing in mind but - NO. It was _not_ happening, not just because of that, but because of the way the little Hinata, his little defender's face had just fallen.

"Maybe you should take Hinata home instead?" he suggested, just causing a little trouble... how was he supposed to know Neji was her cousin, they didn't look that similar...!

"She's coming back to my house!" declared a deep playful voice from behind them. Everyone turned at varying speeds to see an older man with long spiky white hair standing proudly at the entrance to the shop, "The Toad Sage is always there for a beautiful woman in need!"

"What about ugly women?" asked Ron but he was drowned out by the cries of dismay coming from the teenager and various other patrons around him.

"Don't go with him, Ron-chan!" cried Ino, "he's an evil molester of women!"

Ron was alarmed, "Then what is he doing still wandering about?"

"They _like_ what I do to them..." drawled the white-haired man.

"That is repulsive!" Ron yelled, getting up out of his seat and approaching the man, "are you saying you actually are a sexual deviant? Why has no one arrested this man?"

People were enjoying this, misleading - well... kind of misleading this strange woman.

"He's above the law!" someone shouted from the back.

"I'll show you above the law! Prick!" Ron went to pull her wand out and remembered it was stashed somewhere safe: in his cleavage. He reached in and the man said

"Ohoyuuoo!" and it triggered something in the back of his memory.

"Hang on. I've met you before! You're that pervert that groped me before! What the hell are you doing her - are you... you are a Konoha Ninja - what is going on?"

"Okay I've had enough of this," Sakura intervened, "He really is a pervert, but a harmless peeper, nothing more."

"You can get imprisoned for peeping where I come from."

"...that sounds useful, it really does. But Jiraiya here is considered one of the greatest, strongest and most famous Ninja."

Ron looked at the man who was looked bored now and surveying the shop, "...doubtful."

"Well you _are_ just a civilian; you wouldn't be able to _tell."_

"I think," decided Ron, "that it is time I go on my way. Thanks for a great time guys!" once he was down the street and heading towards the warm light of a bar, he murmured to himself, "This place is so _weird_."

The bar was welcoming and so were the people. The alcohol was strong and Ron was not a regular drinker. His mother and brothers would be ashamed of how fast he got drunk... he soon found himself surrounded by men and a few women, all ninja.

He must attract the ninja.

Ron wasn't being particularly witty, no. He wasn't being chatty, or giggly. He'd actually become quite moody and quiet. Someone nudged him, "Fuckofffuckoff..." he mumbled into his glass, not looking.

"Hey there sweetheart..." He knew that voice, it was Jiraiya. She looked at him and he smiled at her, "You've had enough now. Come one, I said you could stay with me tonight and you can."

Ron felt pathetic, "Really...?"

"Come on..."

There was a murmur of disagreement from the hopefuls around him, but the two left the bar. Jiraiya had to carry Ron half the way because he was so drunk. Ron found this fun, flying through the air; bouncing off again... the only bit he didn't find fun was the face full of the man's long hair.

"Blegh!" he shouted, waking up a bit more as he gagged, hands moving up so he could fight the hair away. One hand went higher and slapped the man in the face. More than once. More than a couple of times.

By the time they reached his place of lodging, his face was looking a little sore. But he didn't mind. Three guesses why. Once they were inside he made Ron eat some bread and drink some water. Ron was aware why and was aware enough o realise he wanted to be sober _right now._ But he was soon throwing up.

'Hah,' he thought, 'this'll put you off, perv.'

But the man was so helpful and sort of sweet, that he started to like him a little. He was drunk enough to admit it, "You're alright, ain't ya?"

"I'm more than alright!" said the man, but Ron could see he was half joking. Ron had something else to eat and brushed his teeth with his wand - for his own sake. Alcohol puke stunk more than any other kind. Almost. When he left the bathroom, Jiraiya was lying on the bed with a rose in his mouth.

"You're joking right; I'll throw up on you." Ron went to the window for some fresh air and saw Hermione in the embrace of that woman! That beastly woman! THOSE BEASTLY WOMEN!

He spun on Jiraiya with a crazed look in his eye, "Do me now! Do me now!"

"...You're joking right?" Jiraiya repeated back to him. But when he threw himself at Jiraiya, there was no way Jiraiya was turning a seemingly willing woman down!

...and then Ron fell asleep. _So very suddenly_. (It was the excitement, betrayal and fear that did it... Also the alcohol might've played a part,) but the point was that Jiraiya was very, _very_ disappointed. He did have a moral code of sorts.

First he lay the woman down and went to look out of the window, but there was no one in sight. He shut the window and curtains, frowning, and went back to the bed. Well the least she could do was let him cuddle her a bit. He climbed into the bed and spooned her, smiling happily.

Later that night, Ron's angry little bloodshot eyes sprang open...

TBC...

I'll add more to this later. But I added this, because I have taken so long to update already.

HisHi


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